Farrell's!

No, I hadn't been until about a week ago but I kept hearing such great things about the place that, when my mom's cousin, Melody, and her family, planned to go there for her birthday, I was really excited to finally experience the Fountain Fantasies and Fantabulous Food!

It did not disappoint. Once I took a bite of the Swiss Turkey on Foccacia, I could have eaten it for breakfast, lunch and dinner a few days in a row...and for those of you that know me, eating the same thing again and again isn't my fave.

So all 15 of us crowded into the "party room" of Farrell's and enjoyed our experience immensely. Thank you, Melody and Kyle, for such a special treat.

 Cousin William with Lynnea who thought he was just about the greatest thing since My Little Pony (William, that's totally a compliment).

 The birthday girl with her ice cream creation and her "no-one-should-realize-it's-your-birthday sticker."

 Caitlyn and I had fun looking at all of her Disneyland pictures. One thing about this family, they would literally live in Disneyland if they had their way. They had an awesome experience this trip of visiting the penthouse suites for Disney's distinguished visitors since they had a friend pretty high up in Disneydom. The pictures of the Jungle Cruise suite were pretty amazing, although I would have rather stayed in the Fairy suite. All of those cannibal-looking masks would have freaked me out at night.

 We got a few crazy pictures at the end of the night and were so incredibly grateful that Melody and her family chose to spend her birthday with our family. They are so special to us!

And a parting shot of me and my Nana. We were able to spend 3 weeks with her around Thanksgiving and enjoyed every moment of time we spent together. She is so much fun to be with and I wish we lived closer.

Things to be thankful for...

This past month has been a challenge, emotionally, for me. What I've realized is that, despite all of the tears and heartache, I really do have true friends; people who love me for me, who understand who I really am, not who they perceive me to be, and who make me a better person for having known them...basically, they possess these important qualities:

A true friend...
-Accepts you as you are
-believes in you
-calls you only to say "hello"
-doesn't give up on you
-admires all sides of your personality
-forgives your mistakes
-helps you
-encourages you to try it again
-makes a difference in your life
-says nice things about you
-offers his/her support
-understands you
-tells you the truth
-never judges you
-explains things you don't understand
-walks by your side
-calms down your fears
-shouts if necessary, if you don't want to listen
-raises your spirit.

- Unknown

I'll be honest, I've never been one to put up walls, especially when it comes to friends. On the contrary, I've usually been the one trying to break down the walls of others. Unfortunately, these past few weeks have made me get out my own bricks and mortar, closing my heart up just a little.

Friendships can be the most rewarding things on this planet...and the most hurtful. My husband and I were talking the other night about how our closest friends are those we can laugh with - that kind of laugh that makes your stomach hurt. They're also the ones to whom you can tell your most intimate concerns and they listen without judgement. They know when to offer advice but they don't try to fix it, they just listen, really listen, and they tell you that they'll be there for you, always. They encourage, they correct when necessary and, most importantly, they know your character and think the best about you instead of the worst.

So, with everything that my heart has felt these past few weeks, I've also been thankful for those people in my life who love me unconditionally, give me a giant hug, and say, " I love you for who you are - you're pretty special." With that said, here's more things I'm thankful for...just because my heart loves a little sunshine.


my favorite Christmas album playing

a hot, white chocolate peppermint mocha (especially the first sip)

that recipe that makes your entire family happy

the sound of my kids saying, "I love you, mommy - you're my best friend"

a spontaneous coffee date with a neighbor/friend that interrupts your walk home

talking on the phone with my cousin until 2am..about nothing and everything

my climbing rose that covers the garden wall in brilliant colors

a crackling fireplace

a good book that you just can't put down

Christmas lights in the rain

serving someone else

finding the perfect fabrics for a project...and then completing it!

watching my favorite movie with my favorite guy (my hubby, if you were wondering)

wise words from my parents

laughing at an inside joke

my sister

Thank you, Lord, for giving me another day to become a better person, to learn and to grow.

Finish The Race

First, a picture of 2 of my 3 cheerleaders. They're awesome!

These past few weeks have been full of challenges. Physical, mental, emotional, you name it.

Time allowing, I'll only write about the physical challenge in this post. My heart is still trying to come up with the words for the last 2 challenges.

So I ran a half marathon - yes, I'm crazy (but really only half crazy).

The race took place on October 7th. Early. When all was said and done, I finished the race with a pretty good time: 2:12. My goal was 2:05 but I knew that wasn't going to happen right about mile 11 1/2 when my mind said, "pick up the pace" and my body said, "I'd rather fall down and die." It was also right about then that I passed a man holding out a giant box of doughnut holes to all of the runners. I almost threw up right then and there. It was a miracle I made it to the next water station. Donuts? Really? My stomach has been jostling and jumping around for 10 miles and I'm going to eat a doughnut hole? You must be crazy...

So, now that you've heard the end of my tale, I'll fill you in on all of the exciting race details, starting with the very early wake up call (the part I dreaded the most). Yes, I woke up at 4:15. That would be in the AM. And by the time my friends Mina, Valerie and I got to Long Beach and the sun was just starting to peek through the clouds, we were surrounded by 20,000 people who were probably just as amazed as we were that we had actually gotten out of bed that early. Then, after inserting ourselves into the mass of humans lining up to conquer the Marathon, we all got ready to start our 13 miles of torture exhilaration.

When the gun went off and we all started running (which kind of mirrored cattle running down a cattle chute) I was full of adrenaline and positive that I'd run the best race ever. It started out great! I was on track to run a 9 1/2 minute mile.

Around the 6th mile, I was greeted by 4 screaming/cheering fans that greatly resembled my children. I quickly realized that they were mine and they were holding up the lovely signs they'd created the day before at the Expo. It gave me me a second wind which blew me to mile 8, when I encountered my first roadblock. I was starting to slow a little when my friend, Mina, ran up from behind me, said a quick hello, and then disappeared in a cloud of smoke as she jettisoned off to run the last 6 miles at a record pace. It was right about then that I walked for the first time.

By the way, one of my favorite things to see along the course were the creative signs held by the bystanders.  My 2 favorites read, "Run like a fugitive" and "toenails are for sissies" (the last one didn't apply to me. I kept all of my toenails, thank you very much. The right shoes are a must).

Back to the race, miles 8-12 were tough, but doable, and I finally arrived at the giant sign that said, "one more mile!!" I told myself over and over, "you'd better not walk this last mile- keep running." I tell ya, that last mile felt like 50. All I could think about was that someone must have put that sign on the wrong building. I think they were off by a few blocks.

So, right about the time that I felt the race should have ended, I heard people chanting, "you're almost there!" Ok, "almost there" was not quite accurate but it did put a little fire in my step.

I also have to share with you one of the most interesting/ridiculous/whatweretheythinking aspects of both races I've completed. The photos. You runners know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the photographers out there on the course with their long, zoom lenses, capturing all of the pain, sweat, and tears of each and every athlete who runs shuffles past them. I don't know whose brilliant idea this was but it must not have been a woman. No, it couldn't have been! What woman would want that kind of photograph of themselves? What woman thinks like this: "I have a great idea - let's get some photographers out there to sit on the ground and take photographs of  the runners- maybe one every few miles - oh, and especially one at that last mile! Ya! I want you to find the sweatiest, reddest, most agonized athletes and capture that attractive moment for all to see! Oh, and to make it easier to identify them, let's make them wear numbers. Better yet, let's POST the pictures online so that they can BUY them and hang them on their wall. I think everyone will want one, don't you?!! Who wouldn't want a photo of themselves completing such a great accomplishment?" Well, I can tell you one runner who dreads the email from "Brightroom" that tells me my photographs are ready to be viewed. I know what you can do with mine! You can burn them and then pat yourselves on the back because you've single-handedly reminded me that I probably never want to run another race again...especially if I looked like THAT.


Yes, I ended up finishing the race... but that last 100 yards was seriously the longest stretch of road I've ever experienced. Knowing I did the best I could do was awesome and seeing the faces of the 4 people who cheered me on every weekend during training was the best feeling ever. (Every Saturday, the kids would meet me in front of our house at the end of my 8,9,10 and 11 mile runs with water, a towel, and lots of cheering. It was all worth the pain!) My family was proud of me. I was proud of me. I had set out to accomplish a goal and I did it...again! Now I'm not sure if there will be any more half marathons in my future (to have to drag my butt out of bed every weekend, and run through places I've only every experienced from a car, was quite exhausting...oh, and the pictures don't help things, like I said).

I apologize if this was WAY more than you had anticipated reading. I'm sure it's more than anyone really wants to know about a half marathon but I thought it would be fun to record all of my thoughts. Well, it wasn't all of my thoughts...but you get the picture. :)

Oh, and, believe it or not, I haven't run a single step since the race...my alarm clock needed a break.

Expectations

I just know I've written about expectations before in this blog. How do I know? Because I struggle with setting all of mine just a little higher than I can achieve. I struggle with it a lot so I must have written about it. However, I don't put tags on my blogs (just another something I can't check off my expectations checklist), so I have no idea what I've written or when I've written it...I just know I've written it...somewhere.

So, to give you a little example of what "expectations" I'm talking about, I'll type out a few of the things I play in my head more days than I'd like to admit;

"I should have (insert word here) better"
"I should have signed up for (insert activity/leadership role here)"
"maybe I didn't need to say (insert conversation/lecture) to the kids today"
"I hope my kids don't remember (insert bad mommy moment) for eternity"
...and on and on and on.

Ok, so I don't think about this stuff every day but I do catch myself laying in bed some nights wishing I would have done things differently or wondering if I'm doing enough. That's the big one. Am I doing enough? Is what I'm doing good enough? There are so many times I go to bed wondering if I'm doing the mom thing good enough, if I'm being a good enough friend, housewife, or employee. Why do I do this to myself, you're wondering? Why do I compare, worry, and beat myself down about things that are out of my control? Good question. I don't have an answer...but I am trying to remind myself of the things I am doing to the best of my ability.

So, on that note, I'm going to tell you about one of my lower expectations...which also makes it my most realistic expectations. It has to do with Lynnea.

Now for any of my friends who have served even one minute in Lynnea's Sunday school class, you'll know that I'm really not embellishing the fact that Lynnea hates when I leave her anywhere. She hates it.

At 2 years old, I thought, "it's just a 2 year old thing...every kid is crying in here."

At 3, I figured it would end once she got old enough to figure out that I wasn't going to abandon her because I'd always come back in about 3 hours. The weeks came...and went...and Lynnea still had to be pried from my legs and wrestled into the classroom as giant alligator tears rolled down her cheeks.

At the 4 year old classroom, Lynnea is now the only child who cries like she's gonna die every time she gets dropped off. I can almost see the worker's faces when I come down the hall. "Oh no! It's Lynnea!" I can only apologize so many times before I just have to deal with the exasperation and judgements of the people around me. Countless times I've had to smile as the workers try to offer advice. I've had to inform them that, no, this is my third child and, no, I don't give in to her every whim and, yes, you can take her by force so I can get out this door before it's time to come pick her up again.

See, the funny thing is, she's usually fine 10 minutes into the service and all is well. It's vicious, I tell ya.

Everyone told me it was normal...it would go away soon! It wouldn't continue into preschool, surely not! So, the first day of preschool, Lynnea was excited! She was ready to go. She even wanted to go early! I thought, "we've finally rounded the corner! She's actually happy to leave me!"

Then I dropped her off...and they all took their "first day of preschool picture"...and this is what I got as a memory of that first day...

Are we having fun yet? I sure am. The clinging, sobbing, and hugging dried up every tear I thought I wasa going to cry that first day. This momma is tired. But I do know that the first day she stops crying, I think I'll kind of miss it. It might be nice to get my legs back but I know I'll shed a few tears as I walk back to my car. At that moment, I'll get a big reminder that she's not going to need me forever...

Player of the Game

Mikayla played a good game today and was so awesome on defense that the two coaches chose her as the player of the game. It's so hard to take photos in an indoor gymnasium and get good action shots but I did get this semi-still shot of Mikayla on the defense. I know she's just itching to get on offense and score some points but she's got speed and she plays smart and the coaches know they've got her in a great place. I couldn't be prouder of my kids on their teams! Tyler even scored 2 goals this morning! Love it!

Just Be Yourself

I laughed when I came upon these photos from back in 2010 when my cousin, Cheryl, came to visit us and we went out to dinner. The first photo is cute, posed. The second gets a little silly. The third brings out the crazy eyes and giraffe tongue...the kids completely break loose. With cousin Cheryl, they have no problem being themselves...a little cute and a little crazy.

These photos kind of remind me of what I've been struggling with the past few weeks. Quite simply, being myself...and letting that be good enough. I don't have time to get into it (and I really don't think you want to read about all of it) but I've had to constantly remind myself that I'm doing the best that I can...flaws and all. I think I just need to kick back and not worry so much about what everyone else is doing, what everyone else is thinking, or what I'm NOT doing...and just live the best life that I can.

That's all the words I have for today.

Soccer Begins!

 Today was the first day of the soccer season. Tyler picked up right where he had left off last year and did so well. Look at this kick!

Ready for the ball!

Tyler got to play goalie for a period and he blocked at least 4 attempts to score! We were so proud of him. Mikayla played this week as well but it's a lot harder to get pictures, especially when her arm was trying to hold up her shorts the whole time...it wouldn't have been a pretty picture. Next week, I'll get a few.