My Heart Lies Somewhere Else

This picture brings back memories. In fact, looking at this picture brings tears to my eyes, in a good way. It is a photo from a moment in time, a long time ago. In it are my Great Aunt Leone, my Great Uncle Bill, and 2 of my cousins, William & Caitlyn, in my Papa and Nana's kitchen.

All but my cousins are gone now. Aunt Leone passed away right before I delivered Lynnea. She never met her. I didn't go to her funeral because it was too close to my due date. My Nana moved out of her house after my Papa died, relocating to a small apartment that I haven't even seen yet. And this last week, my Uncle Bill went to meet his Savior after a long battle with congestive heart failure. My heart is heavy. As the rest of my family travels north to say goodbye to this precious man, I stay home. It was a hard decision, one of the hardest I've had to make in a long time. In the end, I decided to stay home and rest after fighting the flu myself and taking care of my family the last 2 weeks as they, too, recovered from their own sicknesses. On Monday, my husband and I take our 10 year anniversary cruise and if I had gone I wouldn't have time to come home and pack everyone up for the week ahead.

I'm going to miss my Uncle Bill. It was really for him that I started this blog in the first place, to let him know the daily happenings of our family. He was housebound for the last few years of his life and spent a lot of time on the computer so I enjoyed giving him new stories of our adventures that he could read. He could feel a part of our family. The loss is so great, it's hard to describe. He and my Aunt Leone are such an important part of my history, my story. Several summers we came to visit my Nana and Papa, my Aunt Leone and Uncle Bill would whisk us away for a day with them at the Boardwalk or the Aquarium. We had so much fun on these days and would cherish every minute spent with them.

One of the last times I saw my Uncle was the last time I saw my Papa. We dropped by his house after visiting my Papa in his nursing home before Cara and I jumped on a plane and headed home. I had Lynnea with me and got this wonderful picture.Then I got this one. Lynnea is mesmerized as my Uncle Bill has a quiet conversation with her before we leave. What a precious sight and one I am so glad I captured on film.
One of my favorite memories of my Uncle Bill was hearing him sing. Each year on my birthday, he would call our house and sing me happy birthday. His voice reminded me of singers in the 40's, smooth and comforting. He would write me poems every birthday as well, especially when I was younger. Each birthday card would come with a poem written especially for me, dreamed up by my Uncle Bill. He had such creativity.

I'm going to miss you, Uncle Bill. I know you're having a party up there in Heaven waiting for all of us slowpokes to join you. I rejoice that you are no longer suffering. What a treasure God has gained this last week. So, my heart lies somewhere else this weekend, with the many family members attending your memorial and celebrating your life. Know that I wish I could be there. You are worthy of a glorious celebration! You have touched my life forever and will be greatly missed.

Hello? Hello? Anyone there??

I must apologize for the lack of blog postings as of late. We've just had so much to do that writing a blog entry is a priority that slipped to the bottom of the pile. Seeing as how I had a few minutes to spare, the kids are mildly distracted with playing outside, and my tummy is full of Swedish pancakes, I thought I'd catch you up a little with what's been goin' on.

Sickness...that's what's been goin' on. You know, I know that God has a sense of humor but he really pushes the limit at times. That sarcasm starts pushing through. (I know God's got a little bit of it in there somewhere. Otherwise, how could I relate?) I have told everyone, "I just pray that my kids don't get sick this next week and I have to go on my CRUISE with a cold or a flu." Yes, everyone, my husband and I are taking a cruise...let's focus on that for a minute. My loving, wonderful husband planned an anniversary cruise for him and me about a year ago and that very cruise is in jeopardy if there is any illness. We leave in a week!!

Enter the flu. Now I don't think my kids have contracted the worst of it but, as of this last week, I've had an older daughter with a fever upward of 103.5, a son whose snot I characterize as "snot rockets" because they literally launch out of the nose and hang there like wayward missiles, and a baby who decided to contract it late in the game and has such a wet face that when she colored it with marker the other day, it just slid off of her face. I keep telling myself, "resist the germs!! Resist!"

*sigh* I need this vacation. I need to sit on the cruise ship and sit...read...relax. I also think, by the end of this week, that I need to invest in hand sanitizer because I've singlehandedly used 3 family's worth all on my own.

On that note, I'll post a few pictures of my kids, pre-illness.

Mikayla with her best friend, Julia demonstrating school pride on crazy hair day.Halloween at our church. They had a puppy petting pen and Tyler thought it was the best thing ever!
Lynnea as a dinosaur (thanks Auntie Cara for the costume!)
Our family went to our class Costume party as knights protecting a princess (Mikayla) from a dragon (Lynnea). Unfortunately, Tyler refused to participate and went instead as Tyler. I made Will and my costumes to match his but it looked like we were the only knights in the family.
Lynnea attempting to be a big girl like her sister and play on the computer. She can't do much except touch the mouse and move it around.
Tyler and one of his favorite gifts from Grammie and Gramps - a bubble gun. It even lights up. Mommy had fun with it too.
And, to end the blog, a picture of Lynnea and her crazy hair. I really don't know what happened before this picture was taken but it looks like she was caught in a wind tunnel. This was before I trimmed her bangs too so that adds to the bushyness. On her, it looks stylish; on me...well, we don't want a picture of that.

Tyler's Birthday!

I can't believe it, my boy is 4 years old already. I remember back to the day I had him and the first few moments of his life that almost took him from us and I thank God for my little miracle. What a joy he is to us. His generous spirit, his infectious laugh, and his need for affection are the things I love most about Tyler. He is my gentle soul (albeit a little stubborn).

In the beginning of the week, Grammie and Gramps brought over their presents which were a huge hit. He got a ball you could ride on (which was his favorite) , a soccer ball, and a few shirts. He also got a T-ball set so now we can teach him how to play some sort of sports instead of how to dress a Barbie. He is definitely all boy but he has been influenced by his big sister to play a pretty mean game of "princess."This was one of his favorite toys, too. It's a little snake thing that acts "real" by pulling the almost invisible string attached to its nose. This little guy had no idea what he was in for when he became Tyler's pet. He was dragged down the hallway and roughed up so much I had to superglue his eyes back on and he's only belonged to Tyler for a few days! Earlier in the week, we celebrated cousin Ethan's birthday who is almost exactly one year older than Tyler. Tyler loves his cousin so much and looks up to him quite a bit. Here they are playing on the slide at the park by Ethan's house.

Then came the morning of Tyler's birthday. He got a few gifts from mommy and daddy that he opened before Mikayla went off to school for the day.
Later in the morning, we had his little party. I told him that he could invite 4 people so he chose who he wanted to spend his birthday with. I asked my friend, Aly, to make his cake and she did such a beautiful job that I didn't want to cut it. She based the cake around 2 of Tyler's favorite cars, his "dirt track McQueen" and "The King." Look how adorable it is...
Thanks, Aly, it was a huge hit!! Here are all of the kids on the "picnic blanket" in the living room since it was raining outside. I was disappointed that they couldn't bounce in the bounce house but I promised Tyler that we could do it another day.
Blowing out the 4 candles on his birthday cake.
After Tyler's party, Will took him to Disneyland since he got in for free and they spent the whole afternoon riding on rides and taking in the shows. That night, we went to Mikayla's school fundraiser at Red Robin. Tyler got his very own ice cream sundae which he gave to Mikayla after he only ate one bite. Mikayla spent the whole time looking for friends (that's another whole blog entry) and all in all, we had a good time finishing up a great day.
Happy Birthday to my precious Tyler...

You're FOUR!!

At the Lake

Last weekend we went to the lake with my sister, her family, and my parents. We have been meaning to go out on my sister's boat for some time now but never planned it but this weekend we saved the date! OK, so the water was a little dirty looking but the kids had so much fun swimming, especially with their cousin's life jackets.This was where we sat. It was so crowded we could hardly find a place to sit...well, not quite. As you can see, we pretty much had the beach to ourselves, which is why the boys eventually went from here......to here. I guess it was about 10 degrees cooler by the water but the girls stayed back at the original camp. Bryan and Cara brought their boat and I couldn't wait to ride. I think I was more excited than the kids to catch some waves. Mikayla would scream every time we went fast over a wave and my dad and I are convinced that Bryan is now the favorite uncle to my kids. Do you think Mikayla likes it?
Lynnea thought that squeezing Auntie Cara's lips was pretty fun. She had just gotten a diaper change which is why she has no shirt on. All in all, we had a relaxing day full of sun and family. The perfect day.

Finally...a watermelon!

In our little vegetable garden we've had a watermelon vine...a big watermelon vine. For quite a while it just grew, and grew, and grew, and eventually it took over my garden, stealing space from every other plant in the bed. Then I trimmed it about a month ago. When Mikayla came over to investigate the clippings, she gasped. She said, "uh, mom? I think you cut this one a little too early." There, in her hands, was a small watermelon that still looked like a cucumber. I felt like crying...all this work and I chopped off the fruit!! Frantically, I looked for another small blossom, fruit, anything! I finally found one, in the back of the garden. I nurtured it, watered it, kept the bugs off of it (my pride and joy) and, about a month later, this is what it became......and boy, wasn't it delicious! Tyler could barely hold it and we all had to take pictures of it.
Then we cut it. Even though it had seeds the size of small M&M's, the work of de-seeding was worth it. We have several more on the vine so we're excited to finally have some fruit for our labor, so to speak.

Regrets

I blew up today...

As I sit here at 11:00 at night, I can't help but ache inside for the anger I displayed at my 3 little ones. It sometimes seems like they all get the brunt of my impatience with one. It's hard when we're all together, without daddy, without a break, with demands and complaints and tugging and pulling...no chance for escape.

I wish I could take it back, the lecture. At first I thought, "they needed it, they should do things the first time I ask them to." Then I have regrets..."I shouldn't have "lost it." I should have reacted with the utmost of patience and love." Thank goodness my kids forgive me. Thank goodness God forgives me too.

Then I start thinking about what a blessing they all are to me, even though they keep me sleep deprived and demand more than I have to give. How unique they are, how special their strengths and, yes, even their weaknesses.

Tears well up as I think about the blessings each of my kids bring to our family. Mikayla's thoughtfulness in bringing back the lid of her yogurt so that I can send it in and get money for cancer research, her helpful nature as she helps her sister wash her hands and reads her favorite book to her brother.

Tyler, my loving and selfless son, who tells me that he wants to invite "Amy" to his birthday party because he knows Mikayla would want her there, not even considering who he wants to invite to his own party, helps Lynnea out of her seatbelt to be a strong big brother and wants to sit on my lap during movies just so he can feel me near him.

Lynnea's humor and independence, trying to be a big girl like her sister but nurturing her little baby doll like it's her very own baby, helps pick up Tyler and Mikayla's bikes if they fall while riding and makes sure everyone knows what they should be doing at any given time.

These are my blessings, my reasons for getting up in the morning, my gifts from God. I pray for patience daily but I failed miserably today. I know that sharing my "mistakes" on a blog isn't the norm, everything always looks so perfect but we, as people, are far from perfect. I just thank the Lord that "His mercies are new every morning...how great is His faithfulness."

Just Because...

Just because school started doesn't mean we can't have fun on the weekends. We spontaneously decided to go to Oak Glen last Saturday to break up the weekend monotony. We headed up the mountain, stopping at the raspberry picking stand. Last year we got there too late and there were no more raspberries. This year, they were drying on the vine there were so many. Of course, the stand workers took one look at our feet and said, "sandals? you'll want to be careful of the burrs out there." I shrugged it off and thought, " Doesn't everyone in California wear flip flops? Please, how bad can they be?"Um, BAD! After one minute of walking, I had this irritating feeling on my toe. Looking down, I discovered an orb of needles clinging to my toe by just one spear. The spears were so sharp that when I pulled it off, I then had to unplug it from the fingers that pulled it off. Ouch!! I thought, "these would be very effective as implements of torture." The experience almost brought tears to my eyes. After my little encounter with the burr of pain, I was focusing the entire time on the little toes of my children and wanted to pick raspberries as fast as I could. We got a lot of juicy berries (and ate several) and the kids had a great time, despite mommy's worries.

Lynnea's face got so dirty! I think it came from picking up dirty rasperries that she had dropped on the ground. She's still with us so apparently a little dirt don't hurt, right?
The kids showing me their berries. Well, Tyler was just finding another one to eat.
Feeding the deer was the highlight for Lynnea. She would squeal with delight every time deer lips touched her hand.